regional fair, college stress, dont wanna be unemployed any longer

hello friends,

here is the long awaited update.... if anyone even reads these...

okay so let's start with the good stuff: i went to the fair yesterday!

it was really fun, although i didn't get to go on many rides cuz my friends don't love riding them as much as i do. i ate a corndog and fried oreos.

anywho, something that has been occupying my mind recently are my freaking college classes! i'm going into nursing, and I know getting into nursing school is super competitive. right now, i've just been struggling staying on top of my online classes, so I have an 80 in one and a 70 in the other. i'm only halfway into the semester, so i'm sure i could get them up if i truly lock in. i'm just worried that maybe i'm not fit for it. 

tw// kinda a vent in the next paragraph? more like a mini rant

in a way, i know i'm very smart and capable of learning. i love learning and i've always been good at understanding lectures and materials, and i know even if i come across a difficult topic i'll be able to understand it one way or another. i'm just worried i'm too immature or something. if i can barely handle these classes, imagine what real nursing school will be like... like i'm not fit for it or something idk. what if the admission officers see my gpa stuff and are like, "omg what a failure," or something... idk... it's just so hard for me to concentrate sometimes on doing my online notes, assignments, studying. however, i have found that going to the library is very helpful for me, so i'll try doing that more often

something else that has been on my mind recently is finding a freaking job. if you're reading this and you are in college, do you have a job? how do you balance work and college? i might be getting ahead of myself.. i know i'm terrible at time management, so a job is only going to exacerbate that.. but i also know nursing school is NOT cheap and my family is definitely lower class... so i want to have my own income.. i'm not sure, because i was looking at what my schedule would look like in nursing school and it would be rather difficult for me to hold a job.

but yeah, in conclusion: i'm just overthinking about things that are an easy fix or things that i should worry about in the further future.

okay friends thats it for today...

bye bye