scholarships are scary and i dont know how to write about myself

I feel old writing about this now. I remember the plan used to be to get scholarships to go to college, but all throughout my schooling my inability to formulate an actual decent essay kind of makes me feel apprehensive about applying for them, procrastinating, and then eventually forgetting about them. I know i need to apply for them, because staying here in illinois just definitely isn't an option id be willing to partake in, but it's scary, you know? Out of all of the "college prep" programs ive been in, none of them have ever shown me directly how to sign up for a scholarship, how they want their essays, etc. I'm not a very interesting person, throughout all of my years in high school i didnt necessarily do much to write about, it was all a bunch of social drama and now i feel i need to extrapolate or just lie about myself on these essays

the only thing i have going for me is being a minority, but nobody has died. i'm straight, so there's been no serious adversity in that department. i've never had to build myself up out of the mud, or overcome any social challenges other than gaining and losing friends, but hasnt everyone? nothing necessarily sets me apart from anyone else, so i feel like i've fucked myself in that regaurd

i'm getting older and i need to man up, i guess