school...........

so yk my previous blog? actually scratch that because a part of me really doesn't want to go back to school anymore and its literally starting in what like 2 fucking weeks 😭😭😭 so for starters me and my ex "closest friend" maite got into an argument because i was telling them abt my bpd and anger issues and OK I KNOW ITS KIND OF FUNNY BUT ITS NOT she started sending sad bart simpson images and kept sending them when i was telling her she was being rlly insensitive and annoying, this part isn't very funny to me but then she started saying things like "you've always annoyed me" and "your always making loud noises and dumb faces in public" ok now i know i shouldn't be happy and let my guard down to anyone i mean ill give her that its some pretty good advice considering i dont want it to happen again i mean i know i cant completely control it considering my autism but yk we were actually really close and were already planning a hangout so the next time (so like never probably) i find myself in that sort of friendship i really have to stfu but i mean i guess im handling it better because the day it happened i tried to od (i know its dumb but im a very emotional person) but now i am kind of relieved because there's no one constantly enabling my eating disorder so thats a good thing but then there's analeya. we had just recently became friends over this break and we were best friends UUUUUUUNTIL she out of NOWHERE started leaving me on following on ALL of her accounts on all of MY accounts. that might be confusing but we both have a lot of accounts and followed each other on them, etc etc. but obviously i just blocked her everywhere except discord i forgot to 😭 so she said "why does it say you blocked me on tiktok?" ok because i did looks like i missed an app🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 BLOCKED AGAIN! and after that she started posting vent art on her account and normally i wouldn't think anything of it but she knows ive also created a lot of vent art and posted them sometimes so she made them like EXACTLY the same way that i do, poorly drawn, quality, same font, same way i express with words, same why i draw emotions, same way i am kind of cryptic in them, same style, pixel blurring, heavily editing, like exactly the same???? i know its probably not that big of a deal in actuality but i just find that kind of strange because thats something they do a lot.. like they will repost everything you repost, spam like you, try to talk and act like you, i guess shes just impressionable with everyone but idk. i know a lot of this might stem from me always jumping to conclusions with analeya but what if its not me? what if she does actually not like me? what if she always found me annoying like maite? what if she just continued talking to me out of pity? i dont know. but i dont want to risk finding out and feeling the pain from it. anyways i dont want to go back to school it suck ok? ok