school holidays can be even lonelier:diary of a problem 3

The holidays arrived, I got rid of having to put up with my damn happy coworkers, but I feel even lonelier. This wasn't what I expected. I traveled and it was amazing, but being with my family I realized something: the mall we were at was full of friends hanging out. Uhh, I feel like an emo who gets depressed whenever she sees friends being happy. I don't want to seem like that, but I can't deny my envy. To make it worse, the house I was staying in belonged to my parents' friends who always complain about spoiled kids. I look at their kids and feel disgusted—two guys older than me acting like children, not caring about rules or their parents. I feel like I was well raised by my family. When I came back from this trip, I felt even worse, especially since I have no way to enjoy my holidays or friends to hang out with. So, I just stay at my job all day, but I'm not going to complain about it, because my boyfriend works with me and he makes me feel happier by distracting my mind before I get home and think about suicide, anyway, I'm grateful to have him, I only have him, I love him.