Selective Mutism

Having SM is hard really hard I think I stopped speakng after going into care so thats been 5 years? Anyways I do only say few words when im comfortable like if im asked a question and im comfortable to answer without writing down or when theres no paper and its not a yes or no question. When different staff heard my voice they just exaggerated like 'thats the first time i heard your voice!' then they said ill get you a reward...just over one word- 

Anyways I wish I wasnt like this I wish I could speak freely without being scared and ive moved to 3 schools ive been to 4 but 1st one dont count anyways the 3 schools i moved to no one wanted to be my friend because i never spoke and i dont think ill ever get a friend.

I HATE SM. 

I wanna be normal.