self-conscience calamity

my worst enemy isn't anyone that's alive. my worst enemy is isn't anyone that's dead, either. i've came to the conclusion that my worst enemy is indeed none other than myself. specifically, my mind. when i'm already feeling emotionally depleted (which also makes me physically drained), my mind doesn't seem to have an "off" switch. it keeps on thinking about thoughts i don't want to think. i wish i could be content with being alone. i wish i could care less about what others make of me. if there were a way to turn off my humanity, i really would. even if that meant my morale going out of the window. instead, i must inevitably live with the dread that be my mind.