SHORT BLOG: GOD AND SONGS

I've been lazing and dozing off when it comes to my schoolwork... and I finally managed to discipline myself into letting go of that wretched device. My father factory reset my phone, and as I was catching up on homework, I had a playlist drone in the background as I worked to ignore the minefield of clothes in my room that I haven't cleaned since July...

Thank You by DIDO came on. For such a dreary song, the serenity of it all helped me focus and gain a sense of calmness whilst I wrote. Suppose that most sad songs can be interpreted as calming if you ignore the lyrics. When I replayed the song just to immerse myself in the lyrics, I couldn't help but feel a sense of kinship towards it. Even when my life feels like it's stuck between reaching the top of the sink and being dragged into the drain, never being able to reach the level I want to because of my own unconscious self sabotage, God's mere presence is there to remind me that it's not all that bad. Even when I'm afraid of the future or when I'm having a bad day, he's there to remind me of his constant presence. He's beside me, and he wishes for me to simply talk to him.

He gives me a sense of comfort even as I find myself in an unstable relationship with him. I reach towards him and embrace him just to go cold a few days later. It's my personal struggle with willpower, that's all. He's the barrier that separates me from total collapse into despair and calamity. Frankly, I find it hard to get it through the day without higher authority or social pressure. I'm glad to have someone who's patient and who will help me every step of the way, someone who tells me not to give up, someone who inspires me not to give up even if nobody's telling me to keep going. 

When the sounds of the washing machine and the gentle chatter of my parents echoing from downstairs start to fade, I make sure that I don't sleep with bad feelings or thoughts, always concluding everyday with a prayer and 10 things that made me happy today. Optimism and courage is key!