sigh

i've been listening to "yes" by manic street preachers a lot recently. i've been dealing with some skin stuff that is rather annoying, hopefully i have found a solution to solve it, but yeah it blows.

wine has been really crappy and not as good as it was on my old linux mint computer, either it's too new of a version or the apps just don't work. somehow ableton live 6 won't install, 7 had broken graphics, 4 barely works. my actual license for 12 intro surprisingly worked the best, not great, but it was stable and the audio was actually on time. amazing. i still have the problem with windows showing in front, though it wasn't as bad. i think i actually will switch to debian despite all the stuff i've got saved on here, just because i need access to more apps than is available on cachyos. also i don't care for constant updates.

i've been veery demotivated when it comes to music. part of it is the fact that nothing i wanna use has been working, but i also just sort of. have no ideas. i think of loads of titles but i just can't be fuckin arsed to make anything. part of that is the oppressing heat and the skin issue but just it drives me insane that i can't put my ideas into sound form and make them. i'm too obsessed with releases and fans and stuff and it sucks. i kinda want to buy a rackmount sampler, an mc-500 or something like that, and just lock myself up and make some weird insane crap, but i ain't got no money. the perfect software doesn't really exist so yeah. i briefly thought of learning c++ to do stuff but i don't think i actually have the balls for that, though i can probably learn pure data/plugdata. this is something that has always happened but this year has probably been the worst it's been.

i kinda just want to sleep.