some thoughts of the week I’ve been sitting with

it’s been a pretty good week lately but simply being who I am and how I live, I don’t really get up to much and that can become a bit mundane. I get quite annoyed when people think I enjoy doing nothing and being unemployed, for truly my endless freetime is more like a black hole for motivation, ya know? I’m either called lazy or that I’m living my best life by doing nothing but I don’t believe being in a constant state of stress about the fact I’m not doing something productive is exactly blissful. 

I do my video games when I can, I draw, I chat with my partner, but my goodness even if every day is different I’m still stuck here with boring familiarity. The most I can do to “put myself out there” is quite literally social media, but then I get flack for that since it’s a device. I don’t like being on tech, I truly don’t. But I can’t afford the crafts I aspire to do and I’m unable to drive myself to really get out there in the community.

It’s silly but it’s a big reason why I want a fursuit. Yes because I’m a furry and I adore my characters, but I’ve always wanted to do the silly videos and trends from the comfort of my home without showing my face. I don’t dislike my face, I just prefer privacy like that. <3

So yes, getting my paws order this week was a big step for me even if I have yet to get a form of face covering. I can do pov filming with my hands which can be fun at least! But im mainly happy it gives me something to look forward to this month since seeing Hadestown was my last “keep going” thing and now that has passed. 

I wish shipping was free so I could start selling art. It seems very daunting but I would love to start small beta-test commissions to test the waters some day, just to try and make a little cash. It’s a bit of a greedy feeling when you truly find motivation to do things for the sake of getting new decor and items, but they’re my things. I love my things that are just for me. <3