songwriting update: new bridge :]

first time for everything, right?? 

lol, anyway. here's a bridge i started writing last weekend and finished today. i'll explain the meaning and stuff at the end. picture a sort of paramore-esque sound for this one, the melody kinda stays the same throughout and higher harmonies build up on top of it.  

*****

i am distant, i'm unfaithful 

i'm an angel, i'm a god 

and i am quiet, i'm unstable 

you'll never know just where you are 

and i’m a lover, i’m a liar 

i’m a monster, i’m a saint 

i am just so fucking tired 

i don’t know who else to blame 

i am violence, i am justice 

i’m the girl and i’m the gun 

i’m a walking ego complex 

i will never be outdone 

and i am anger, i am fire 

i am loved and i’m alone 

i’m a helpless crying child 

throwing tantrums on the floor 

i’m the savior! i’m the ending! 

i will leave you all for dead 

and i’ll be right back where i started 

and i’ll do it all again! 

*****

not much to chew on with this one. usually i like to write a lot more indirectly, but something about this being a violent declaration was really interesting to me, and that required very on-the-nose statements lol. 

buttttt if you look closely, you'll notice that none of these descriptions (26 yes i counted) are direct contradictions :]] people's self-concepts are so complex and fascinating to me, and i wanted to try to capture some of that complexity. even if some of these seem like they would contradict, there are situations in which they work hand-in-hand. lovers lie, justice is violent, and monsters can be saints. one person can contain all of these and more.

that said, these are some of the descriptions that go through my head when i think about myself in the abstract sense, almost as if i was a character. sometimes i see myself as a weapon, an unstoppable force, a girl burning down the world. sometimes you just have to see yourself as something larger than life to get through it. i'm nowhere near that cool in real life, i promise xP

there is a chorus for this song that i'm finishing up, but i'm unsure when i'll get around to writing the verses or doing the instruments. i have to finish my first ep with my band, which is supposed to come out this summer (fingers crossed!! lol you'll get that reference in a year or two) and i'm kinda focusing on that. but i have plenty more songs that i'm working on that i can share if anyone's interested. maybe i'll even drop a demo with one or two of them... food for thought!! lmk what you think about this one tho, i like it a lot and i hope it makes someone out there feel seen :]