STOPSTOPSTOP

my problem is that ill be fine- and my brain chooses one random dude I DONT EVEN TALK TO and is like "hmmm hes cute" AND ITS SO STUPID BECAUSE NO IVE NEVER TALKED TO  HIM EVER (or at least not in a while) my brain does this a lot and i hate it bruh. i want a normal crushing spree not just have a crazy dream with him in it one night and suddenly i like him? like i want a friends to lovers arc but if not thats fine, just not whatever my brain is cooking up. and its worse trying to force yourself out of it because your brain is gaslighting (or at least trying to) you into thinking thats your crysh and you like the dude, and then you fall for it, and i fall HARD. and then once you stop with the crush its like "FINALLLYYY!!!" and then the vicous cycle repeats. yes I'm only writing this because its happening to me right now