Stuck In A Negative Mindset - How Do I Change?

Hello friends! This will be a bit of a rant post, I just wanted to jot down my frustrations with being a human being lately.

So I am a very intense person and I operate with a lot of anger and hatred at a baseline (I've been told I don't come across that way, which is great, but in my mind I'm seething half the time). I try to keep that shit inside because acting out of anger or with hatred towards people isn't the person who I want to be, but that just means all of that negativity is trapped inside me.

Recently my psychiatrist and I were talking about how I haven't been doing fantastic (I'm actually doing relatively really good, just not as good as I could be) and she asked me if I thought we needed to increase my medication or if I just needed an "attitude adjustment." I hated to admit it, but I told her I really do think most of my mental state is because I'm just constantly negative inside my own thoughts.

At the same time though - I know there are positive things in my life, but everything also kind of sucks. I don't really have friends, I hate my job, paramedic school is making me so incredibly stressed and anxious and scared, my car got totaled (not my fault) and I can't afford a new one to get to school and work, ugh idk. There just doesn't seem to be much that I really care about or am passionate about. When I try to do art or go volunteer or whatever I feel like I'm cosplaying being passionate about the thing, not that there's actually any fire in my chest for it.

The main thing keeping me sane is just hitting my cart about 100 times a night after I get home, but I'm getting sober for paramedic school next month and I'm anticipating this causing a few epic crashouts while I'm getting used to it.

So now I know that I feel like shit because of my own negativity. But where do I go from here? Just yell "NO" in my mind every time there's a negative thought? Brick my phone? Move away and start a new life somewhere with a beach? Idk.

I mostly just needed to write this all down, but any advice would be appreciated too! Thx 4 reading. <3