Suffering, and religion, and parenthood, and what else?

So, in my family, there’s a massive mix of religions and all that, but most of them are preached by people way older than me—like, add 50+ years to the clock. Living that long already gives you a massive hint that their lives haven't exactly been a walk in the park, and they had to make some tough calls to be "alright" nowadays. Whenever I ask these older folks where they found the strength to keep going, or what their childhood was like, they always answer by blowing cigarette smoke right in my face (followed by a massive lecture on how suffering made them who they are). Am I slagging off what they went through? Never! It’s just weird hearing the narrative that getting beaten as a kid makes you well-behaved, or that going through hardships will be rewarded by God, or that every single bit of misery you face is some divine test. There hasn't been a single person in my life who had the privilege of a good family and decent money who didn't get absolutely lynched for it. They weren't seen as privileged; they were called clueless, soft, or arrogant.

I heard once about this concept called the "Ideal Victim," which lists everything you need to actually be validated as a victim: taking beatings on the chin, suffering loads. In the situation I mentioned earlier, I reckon that model applies too, because to be recognized as a proper citizen, it feels like it's mandatory to have suffering, hardships, or childhood violence in your backstory. It looks like a structured tactic for people to completely normalize abuse and preach silence. Or maybe a lifeline for everyone who’s fragile and needs some sort of faith just to hold on a bit longer.

Dunno, it’s proper annoying, ESPECIALLY since God’s name is dragged into most of these arguments. "God is doing this, God is doing that, shut up." Obviously, it’s impossible to live without hardships, but why do people act like these struggles are credentials that validate you as capable? It’s never about your survival; it’s about some higher purpose. What kind of fucked-up fetish is that?

Plus, the people who warn others with threats like "You're not going to heaven"

???

This bit is personal, alright? Every deeply religious person I’ve ever met did honorable things just to book a five-star room in heaven. I mean, is it a trade-off? Do you only care about doing or not doing something just to see if you fit into a nice place, or if you’ll end up in the devil's lap?

Bizarre.

Same exact thing with parenthood. My mum wants me to have kids just so they can look after me when I'm a senile old bloke, and she doesn't mention a single other positive thing about being a dad. Again, I respect everyone in my family, but there are definitely people out there who will bring a child into the world just to be looked after in the future, and they still claim they do everything for the kid (which basically means paying the bare minimum so they don't starve). Is that a trade-off too? "I look after you, baby, and you look after me, even though having a kid was my choice and I'm not actually a proper good dad."

Let me know your thoughts, because believe it or not, this isn't a proper ran (hope this doesn’t make me look like an angry teen, even though I literally am one ngl).  Just thinking out loud.