sweet 6teen....

it's my birthday pretty soon...

I know I should be like happy and excited and shit but I'm sooooo not T_T

I wish I could have a fun party but it won't happen and I know that. Last year I thought that I would have a lot more friends by the time I turn 16 so I could finally do something fun for my birthday and have like a cool sweet 16 party and stuff. BUT I DON'T!!!!! I have a few friends here and there but I'm not very close with like literally any of them so the party would be really awkward cause it's different to hangout with someone and to plan a party and just invite your random friends who don't know each other and try to make it fun. I also suck at planning anything so the "party" would be LAME AS FUCK. I'm not very good at being the birthday girl or the life of the party or the main star either. So the best option would just be to have fun with friends while keeping it pretty casual but I don't have a best friend or a friend group I could do that with. So I probably won't do anything and just cry and kms like fuckkkk I wish I could so at least something fun:(((((((((( I really wish I could have a good social life and more parties and stuff to do but nothing is happening and I feel so stuck and out of place wherever I go and whoever I'm with most of the time 

I only have like under two months to figure something out and I probably won't </3