Tex vs. The Fear of Missing Out

(sort of content warning maybe? this is me just ranting about school and fears so if youre easily sensitive you might wanna leave maybe.... im not very sure but just a heads up!)

dude... all my friends r doing things like clubs and sports and im just being..... a chud???

i have alot of hobbies! but im not involved with anyone, yk??? im not apart of a club or team or whatever because i dont feel like it. ALSO!! people talking about my interests irl feels.... off?? or embarrassing at the least.

i feel like... weird. all my friends are moving in different directions and im doing NOTHING! i guess im still young, and i have time to find out what i WANT to do. but im not even in a film CLASS?? which i desperately wanna be in btw. its just that im nervous. i feel like ill be shown up.

i was made fun of for a low B in adv. algebra. like... what? why is that bad?

and maybe its because im super bad at math and dont understand concepts like that, but i thought that was common?

its just that... grades r hard. REALLY hard. its not like im failing anything, its just that i am treading water endlessly. i never get to stop and take a break i just have to keep going and going and going and going...............

i just went to a game for my school with my friends, but they sort of ignored me the whole time. i brought my other friend with us, and they didnt even talk to him, they just ignored him. which made me madder than anything! i dont know what their deal was, but it was making me so irritated.

i have other friends, but im not as versed with them. i dont blame my usual friends for drifting, it happens, but im still sad about it.

i eat lunch with a group i like, but i dont really KNOW them like i knew my other friends. im surrounded by many but i feel super alone.

i feel like im being awful to my new friend too. hes usually quiet, but im super talkative and go off on tangents like nothing youve seen. so ill talk to him lots, and he responds with a few sentences, which makes me feel like im shutting him up.

ill apologize for talking too much, and he says, "no, its fine" and we go back to watching the game. this happens in circles.

im not a guy who likes watching football, which makes me feel pretty outcasted already. as a boy, youre supposed to like that sort of stuff, but i never got into it. so im just a weird kid bugging my friend who just wanted to watch a game.

back to grades, i have to keep them up especially in my humanities and English classes or film schools will NOT want me.

this sounds like a vent, i didnt mean for it to be. sort of embarrassing.... this MIGHT be deleted idk.

anyways, thanks for reading so much. like i said, i talk like nothing youve seen.

Published by texas!!

Tex vs. The Fear of Missing Out

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