The Dad Who Knew Too Much

The Dad Who Knew Too Much

 January 16, 2003

 Hi, guys. Welcome to another day in the life of me, in 2003.

 So, to keep her secrets confidential, my sister Lisa wants a Turbo Diary, which electrocutes anyone who tries to read it besides the owner. Dad and Bart go to the mall to get the diary, but Dad gets sidetracked by the loads of free food samples and by the time they get to the toy store, the diaries are sold out. After seeing a personalized animated film Ned made for Rod, Dad does the same for Lisa, but when Lisa watches it, she realizes Homer knows nothing about her, upsetting her.

Feeling sad, Dad gets an idea from Moe to hire Dexter Colt, a private detective, to find out facts about Lisa. Colt spies on her and builds up information for a report, which Dad uses to bond with Lisa by playing songs she likes and going to a protest against animal testing at a research lab. When Dad goes to Colt to thank him, he gives him a bill for $1000 which includes frivolous expenses including steak dinners and silver bullets (Colt having worked on the assumption that Lisa was a werewolf). Homer refuses to pay the bill and runs off to his house as Colt swears revenge.

The next morning, someone has vandalized the research lab and stolen all the animals. Chief Wiggum says that, based on the clues, Lisa is the main suspect. Lisa says she is innocent and Homer realizes that she has been framed by Colt. They escape as fugitives, in disguise. While on the run, Homer confesses about the report and Colt to Lisa, upsetting her once more.

The police track the pair to a motel, but they escape again and find themselves at a circus, where they discover all the stolen animals. Colt shows up and chases Dad into a hall of mirrors. As Colt is about to kill Homer, Lisa catches up. After Dad mentions her strong sense of hearing, Lisa, impressed he actually remembered something about her, blinds Colt with a laser pointer (Bart's gift to her), and Colt is soon arrested. Lisa is exonerated, and the animals are all released back into the wild, until Cletus and his family adopts them. Lisa eventually receives a Turbo Diary, which Bart uses to trick Dad into electrocuting himself as part of Bart's dirty prank.