the future is scary

I never did feel prepared for my future, and the pressure is worse now than ever. People say I'm too smart to not go to college immediately, I have too much potential to just take a gap year. But I don't feel like that, actually I feel less ready than ever before. I have a good GPA, I take AP classes, I am too this, too that to just waste. 

But I don't feel like that at all. I'm immature, can barely remember to take care of myself, can't hold onto money for the life of me, and overall going to be terrible in the world without taking time to prepare.

I struggle with basic things, I can't handle sudden change, I'm a wet cat with its whiskers cut off. Pathetic, small compared to everything else, and unable to navigate the world outside of what I've gotten used to. 

Idek anymore man, I just need a break. 

sorry about the back to back posts