The Loss Support Group ~ Poem

Mom tells us it would be best 

To go to the support group 

You want to try 

I don't know why 

But I go along with you anyway 

Right away I hate it 

I admit it 

I won't lie 

I never lie 

I thought that's why 

You married me

These people are looney 

I see it in their eyes 

Five minutes in 

After introductions

And I see the depths of their lies 

They tell the group 

They tell the world 

They tell themselves 

It is not enough 

It will never be enough 

What we loved is

Ashes and dust

Why can't you people see? 

It doesn't mean I don't miss her 

That I didn't love her 

That I don't love her 

Or life 

I love being alive 

Even though it hurts right now 

It hurts sometimes 

I call that humanity 

It is a beautiful thing 

Even ashes 

Even dust

I want to stand to my feet 

To shout 

To interrupt the one's who speak 

To tell them it is unhealthy 

I but I will not 

I cannot 

We drive home 

It is raining 

I look at the lines 

I strain my eyes 

To the dots of yellow 

You stare out your window 

Your eyes match the panes of glass 

We don't talk much 

We are thinking about her 

We are thinking about it 

You went to bed early 

I have so many things to say 

That I need to say 

The cat is taking a bath 

She does not say goodbye to me 

I drive to the cemetery 

I know you heard the door slamming shut 

I know you heard the car start 

And the gravel as I drove 

I wonder if you know where I am going 

The cemetery is empty 

It is always empty 

I sat down with the stone 

Not with her 

She is already gone 

I tell the earth beneath me 

How I am feeling 

About the group 

About the leader 

About the parents 

About you 

About fantasies 

An owl called from the willow tree 

A breeze rustles the daisies beside me 

I receive grace 

And I pass it on to the parents 

I pass it on to you 

The group is not unhealthy 

Neither are you 

I am leaving to go 

If you are awake I will tell you then 

If not I will wait until the morning 

The words are already forming on my lips 

The group is good 

I will go again 

For us

I love you

I'm glad we exist