Thinkin about life n stuffs lolz + chillin despite the hand i was dealt

Been thinkin about life and stuffz. Took a long while to accept that growing up isn't about speedrunning life its about whatever you want it to be but eh ik a lot of people realize this much later. Always find it weird when I see some people my age so caught up on speedrunning life and trying to be ultra successful at this age and I'm just liek bro slow down you have a whole life ahead of you. If you rush you can't really be in the moment, at least I think so. 

I don't gots a really "good" life all things considered but I make it work. Honestly that + generally being way behind my peers + chronic mental and physical illness kinda taught me all that shitz I was talkin about. Just trying to survive in my super weird situation, completely unsure if I'll suddenly have nothin tomorrow or if everything will suddenly go right again. Kinda just gotta take it day by day and hope for the best even if I've seen some shitz. One day I could be homeless and the next I could have an unforeseen amount of money (ask me how I know <<)and life just be liek that. 

But in spite of that I'm not liek, dreading life or anythin. If anything I'm always lookin forward to what happens next. Will I ever get married (somehow)? What games are secretly in development that I'd kill to play? You really never know, and therez so much I wanna experience.

My spine might be bent and my lungs might be awful and I might be allergic to everything and need the strongest medicine in the world to function at all but therez a cute lil cat waiting for me everyday. Therez friends to talk to, new people to meet, stories to hear and tell. I wanna hear all the stories I can, meet all the people I can, live life as i can even if it gets suuuuuper bad. 

I dunno, I just felt liek talkin about this xD weird post for me to make or whatevs, but I'm just funky sometiems.