title title title - blog #9 11/2 ━━ . °‧ ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀)

blog blog blog title title title yap yap yap blah blah blah 

hhhhhhhhhhhm okay last night i was calling with my online friends and one of them is super obsessed with happy tree friends rn so i would them i'd watch it with them and we are currently doing a htf marathon and i think handy is my favorite and then in 2nd is cuddles and 3rd russel or mime i thiink but we are only around like idk some episode around 70-80. i also tried these shroom tabs that didnt do that much but i did only have 2 so ehh and then i took idk how many or how long hits  from my cart and like  idk it feels kinda weird to talk abt it for some reason but it's growing on me faster than i thought it would but like its kind of the only thing i have to actually manage my social anxiety and anxiety and everything in general like it just clears my brain a little and i can socialize easier and there isnt some evil  commentator picking on me every second. when im just me im full of fear. im scared of everything and can't muster up the courage to do anything i want to do but when im intoxicated it just blocks that shit out and i can actually live. idk. 

school was pretty good i think. first 2 periods were good. lunch was kinda boring since dont hang out with anyone during it on B days. last 2 periods were good too but also kinda boring since i didnt really talk to anyone except my tablemates in 6th period but i was just helping them with the assignments.   almost all school day all i could think about was wanting to be high and i hate and love it at the same time. 

anyways what r some positives hhhmmmmm. well im excited to get high. im gonna play guitar for a few hours. iii might see if my online friends want to keep watching htf. oh and tomorrow im going to make the vegan shepards pie from scott pilgrim! i actually have been reading the comics online and i think i like them more than the anime and the movie. well maybe the comic and movie r in the same tier. 

duude oh my god ive been like thinking about it a bit and like  HYPOTHETICALLY is it cheating to have a romantic partner and a queer platonic partner at the same time??? i mean   idk  i feel bad thinking about it but i crave love with someone i can actually physically be with so bad but i dont want to ruin my friendship/relationship with my queer platonic partner that ive had for like 3 years almost 4 i think. its prbably best to just ask them how theyd feel about it.

I CANT WAIT FOR DANCE GAVIN DANCE NEW ALBUM NEXT YEAR UGGAHHH and tour and festivals and omgggg gihdsjghudsgighirsgdhf yeseyseesyeseseseseseseses

i want to post more than blogs so i yam kinda pondering what else i could post,,, i really need to record some covers or something,,, 

ok i thinks thats all goodbyeee heart heart heart heart <3<3<3<3 :7 smile