Torn By Cruel And Loving Hands

August 8th, 6:44 PM

Hello, guys, I’m sorry I haven’t been writing as much (not anything you can see, anyway)

But I’ve been busy.

I’m going to start school again on Wednesday. I hope I've actually learned something from this summer and I’m not as awkward as I was from years previously.

A while ago, I got a message: the person said they read my blogs, thought they were beautiful, and realized that love really does exist. Honestly, I was questioning the same thing before I met my girlfriend.

I wonder about the possibility of whether I would ever truly be able to love someone, and if someone like me could ever truly be loved, not just in the charming teenage romance kind of way, but the kind of love that’s unconditional. The kind of love where your partner will be there for you when you're not feeling right, the kind of love where they’ll wipe your tears even if you’re an ugly crier, the kind of love that can transcend any new fact of yourself that gets revealed.  I can confidently say now that love is real; it's as real as it can be, it's as real as you are, and it's as real as I am, and I hope you realize that as well.

Sometimes I get nervous. I get nervous that she’ll realize that I’m not nearly as interesting as she thinks I am; I get nervous that she’ll get bored with me, and sometimes I get nervous that she’ll find out something about me that she won’t like, but that’s the weird part, there’s nothing more for her to find out about me, I’m just a naturally self-depreciating person, but I don’t want that to prevent me from letting her see me for what I am. She's made it very clear that she loves me for who I am and every aspect of myself, and that's not something I'll take lightly. I'm so eternally grateful that out of all the people I could've met, it was her. I won’t let myself ruin this by my own insecurities. I’ll let her see me for who I am; I’ll look at her, and I won’t turn away.

"This is happening. I am here, and I am looking at her, and she is so beautiful."

I start school soon, and I’m not nearly as nervous anymore. I’m secure with myself; everything’s going to be alright.