Toxic In Laws Part 2

About a week or two ago I posted my story with my sister and law and her husband, today I will be discussing my brother in law and his wife. Yes, these are different people than my blog from before. Alright let's get into it shall we?

A couple years ago, my brother in law was heavily intro drugs and homeless after he got out of prison for domestic abuse. We were in the city he lived at because my mother in law had a doctor's appointment in the city him and my sister in law lived at. He asked us if maybe we'd consider taking him to go live with us back in the small town we're from. My husband doesn't even let me tell him that I don't think it was a good idea. He tells him "Okay, we're gonna go stay the night at our sister's and we'll meet with you in the morning at this exact spot. He didn't go with us to her sister because they had been at odds for awhile. If you're not here we're leaving. This is your only chance to get sober." When we get back to my sister in law's apartment, I questioned him about his decision. I already knew how problematic and troubled my brother in law was and I just didn't want him in our house knowing he was a drug addict. I know I shouldn't judge but that's not someone I wanted my child around. Also something in me was telling me that once he got back on his feet he was going to bite the had that fed him. He later stated that no one helped him. We stopped helping him because he had a stable job, a home, government assistance and a new family. He's the kind that likes free hand outs. And her family is always doing that for them, but he also expects us to do the same. Oh boy was I right! I was in for a surprise, well actually not really I knew how things were going to play out.

For a month everything went okay but as time went on I started to notice hints of disrespect or him not cleaning up after himself or him not doing stuff around the house like my husband asked him to do. Such as mowing the lawn, washing dishes, taking care of the dog and cats while we had to go somewhere or sweeping up and mopping while we were gone. Then it started to turn into him throwing jabs at us or disguising insults as jokes. He started being very rude towards my mother in law and myself mainly. Something you're going to notice about this "man" as I go on is that he has a deep hatred for women and views them as inferior and belittles them every chance he gets.  He wouldn't help us feed the animals but would demand that his mom wake up and "feed the fucking cats." At this point I just wanted him gone, he got on my nerves a lot. My cat didn't even like the guy, he would pee on his clothes which the cat never did to anyone else. And when he would get angry with the cats he would squirt them with water. ****Trigger warning**** If you are sensitive to self harm or suicide please don't read any further and scroll back up.

I was dealing with severe depression around this time and I was very suicidal around this time. My husband and I were fighting a lot during this time and I was also reaching my limits with his brother. One day I became very depressed and I tried to end myself. I won't get too much into details about what happened but let's just say I was in the hospital for 3 days and then I was put on a 72-hour psychiatric hold. That wasn't always ideal but I didn't have a choice I was a danger to myself and I had to complete the program before I could go home. 

I went home 3 more days later and my husband still wouldn't tell his brother in law to move out. I think another month went by and at that point my husband, my daughter, my mother in law and myself had enough of his shit. My husband finally told him he needed to find somewhere else to go. It's a good thing he had a job and had made friends along the way and he used to live in this town before so he already had friends from 10 years prior. We also found out that when he used to leave our house he would go talk bad about us to these people that used to be our friends at that time. 

You think that's it? No things actually got worst after he left our house and got married to a lady I went to elementary school with like a couple months later. Here comes the rest of the story and trust me it really does get worse, I'm not sure how I survived all the harassment without going crazy. 

So he met the sister of his wife, he was infatuated with her but "she wasn't putting out" and  she didn't want to date him officially. So then he moved onto her sister(the one I was in the same grade with when we were kids) and she gave him whatever he it is he wanted from her sister and then they move in together and before we know it he proposes to her. Then a couple months later they go get married for the simple fact that apparently her grandparents didn't agree with them living together without being married if you know what I mean. Her family is very well known in this town and a lot of people in this town don't like to mess with them because they have good lawyers and are a very well respected family except for my sister in law, her sister and her brother which I won't say what he's done. I feel like it's not my place tp expose him for what he's done and I don't feel like that whole family coming after me. So they get married and he automatically starts belittling her, calling her ugly, worthless and just saying that he still wants to sleep with her sister even though he's now married to her. He always compares them and tells her he wishes she was like her sister because they are very different. His wife is a tomboy and her sister is more girly and he wants her to be that way. We started to notice that she lost a lot of weight but it didn't matter because he would still make fun of her looks and call her ugly. I defended her and my sister in law so many times from him calling them fat or just commenting on their bodies. Mind you, he's almost 300 pounds and likes to comment on others bodies to make himself feel better about himself. I already knew it was projection. He never called me fat to my face but he used to tell people I was fat and that's fine. I'm not skinny like I was when I first met my brother in law and that's fine it's my body. 

Mind you, I met my brother in law 3 years before I met my husband because he moved to this town around the time I did and was living with their aunt and uncle. Him and I became good friends through a girl I had become friends with and we did used to get along back in like 2012, I'm not sure what went wrong after he moved back to this town when we helped him. I'm not sure if the drug usage changed him or if I just became less tolerable of bullshit. I'm not sure. My husband and I used to feel disgusted about how he talked about his wife and her sister. Her sister is also the ex girlfriend of the guy my sister in law married in my other blog. I know what a mess! That's the same girl my sisters in law were both trying to be like. Then he started to start stuff with us and his step daughter starting bullying my daughter at school and that's when things started to get out of hand. 

We had that issue a year prior where his step daughter was bullying my daughter and my sister in law's daughter too. The girls took awhile to tell us but one day they told us and we had him come over and bring his step daughter too so we can get it all sorted it out. His step daughter ended up apologizing to the girls and that was that and we left it at that. 

Stuff started to get weird again though. My sister in law (yes his sister from the previous blog) and my brother in law started to not get along again. They were always at odds with each other. And yes they are at odds with each other now too..I believe they haven't had anything to do with each other for a year now. Well I remember something happened where thy wanted my sister in law to babysit the stepdaughter and I guess she said no or something and they got mad. I'm not sure how I got put in the middle of it but I get a message from my other sister in law and then my brother in law grabs her phone and starts messaging me really mean stuff and threatening to come to my house to beat me up. So I hung up and a couple days later I end up forgiving them without even getting an apology. Something you're going to learn about me in these scenarios is that I used to be very forgiving and forgave a lot of shit. For a little while things went steady and then stuff started to get weird around the time my sister in law was going to get married to the guy she cheated on her fiancé with. 

(If you don't get what I'm saying go read my other blog about my sister in law and her current husband.) 

We were already irritated with him because he decided he was going to throw my daughter into the lake and she didn't know how to swim and at that point the stuff with my sister in law had me fed up and I had decided I had enough of my brother in law and his wife too so we started to distance ourselves. Little did I know what would come after that. But nonetheless I don't regret the choices I made for our peace.

The day before my sister in law was going to get married my brother in law was trying to convince my husband to let him store his boat he had just got from someone in our backyard since he couldn't keep at the apartments they lived at. He got mad because I told him not going to happen because our backyard is not a junk yard. And he started to complain and made the comment then why does my sister and her man get to keep their car in your backyard? Something I forgot to mention in my previous blog was that my sister in law and her husband left their broken down car in our backyard and we had been trying to convince them to come get it and they kept making up excuses to why they couldn't come get it. We eventually threatened to have the car towed if they didn't come get it and they decided to sell it to my brother in law for $500 just so they didn't have to come get it and my brother in law and his wife's brother finally came and grabbed it a couple weeks later. But I guess he still wanted revenge on me for telling him no to him having his boat here at our house and for distancing ourselves. 

This is finally the worst part because oh yes it does get worst. His step daughter started to bully my daughter just like she had the year prior and I was tired of it and I was going to go report it to the school but my husband decided he was going to go tell his brother to see if he could reason with him. Mind you my daughter wasn't the only kid she was bullying. She had been bullying a handful of other kids. Kids in her grade, kids in my daughter's grade and kids that were older than my daughter too. She was coming after a lot of kids and they had to go to a meeting over parents reporting the bullying.

Since my husband told him what was happening with the stepdaughter he brought her over to apologize like always and she apologized. I didn't say anything to him and he didn't talk to me. And like I suspected this wasn't the last of it. 2 weeks later he called my mother in law and screamed at her and said that my daughter was bullying his daughter and my sister in law's daughter too. We knew that wasn't true because my daughter is well behaved at school and when we had parent teacher conferences her teacher never mentioned that she was bullying anyone. I never had any reports from teachers or the principal saying my daughter was doing such things. At my daughter's school they get graded on behavior and my daughter had a perfect score on behavior and we've never had an issue with her doing bullying to anyone. So I swallowed my pride, unblocked my brother in law to get to the bottom of things and to try to reason with him. Big mistake.

I didn't cuss him out in the first message I sent him but I did tell him to stop making lies up and that he better not show up and make a scene at our house or I'd call the cops and he didn't like that and started to call me a bitch, a whore and a bunch of other profanities. He had called me stuff like that a couple months prior and I forgave him but not this time. He blamed me and said I was the reason him and his stepdaughter couldn't see my daughter. He threatened me and said my daughter needed to stay away from his or else. This is where I let my anger consume me and it probably shouldn't have. The conversation got more heated and I called him a felon and a woman beater and I guess it struck a nerve. He made racial slurs against me for being Mexican and used my previous suicide attempt against me and told me to go drink a bottle of pills again. My sister in law and I don't like each other but she even admitted that he made up the part where my daughter was bullying her daughter too. My daughter had told me that her and her cousin got along fine at school and hung out, my sister in law even confirmed it. One of the last things he said to me was that he was going to report my daughter for the bullying and he never did, so that's very telling. That's one of the last exchanges I had with my brother in law. I screenshotted the whole conversation and sent it my husband because I knew he was going to try and twist the whole story to make himself look like the good guy, he got mad when my husband told him I had the screenshots and still called me a liar. 

3 days later his wife decided to start stuff with me at the school. I was outside waiting for my daughter to come out of her school and her daughter is a grade below mine but they used the same doors. So her daughter came out before mine and we made eye contact I have resting bitch face syndrome so I always look mad even when I'm not. And this girl already loves drama because that's how they're raising her, so I guess when we were walking to our cars she went and told her mom that I glared at her. They waited until they got into the car and then she yelled my name and I said what's up, She goes, " You better not glare at my daughter again or I'll call the cops on you." Like I beg your finest pardon? 

I still sat there and tried to explain myself and she wasn't listening all she did was scream at me. So finally I said fuck it these people can't be reasoned with so I stayed quiet and just walked away. I should have recorded her but I didn't think about it in the moment. Any time I see them now I have my phone ready in case I need to record them and see if I can take my proof in for a restraining order. Nothing much happened after that other than him trying to get us to go to his house for Thanksgiving and him acting like he never did anything to us. The last exchange I had with him was before Christmas when he was asking my husband on the phone if he could get our daughter a Christmas present and all I said was "no.' And then he went ape shit oh the phone and called me a "disrespectful bitch" and that was the last exchange him and I ever had. From time to time we see each other in public but we don't acknowledge each other or say anything to one another. He still tries to convince my mother in law or my husband for all of us to get together and hang out but I tell my husband I'm not having it and if he wants he can go hang out with him, then he can. My husband doesn't really go see him unless it's something about their mom. 

He still throws insults or jabs at me through other people but never says it to my face. His main thing he likes to complain about is how mad he is that we don't let him see our daughter. I don't complain about not seeing his other kids or his step daughter because I'm okay with parents having boundaries but he doesn't respect ours. His stepdaughter has came up to try and talk to me a couple times but I don't say too much to her because I don't want problems. And before anyone comes after me, no I don't hate the child. I blame the parents for how they raise her. Something I forgot to explain is that yes my daughter is 1 year older than the step daughter but my daughter doesn't like conflict and my daughter is short and the step daughter is taller and looks more intimidating than my daughter so my daughter is kind of scared of her. We're seeing how this school year goes since this year they'll be coming of the same doors again after school. I told my husband if she bullies my daughter again I will absolutely be taking it up with the school this time. This might be the last year she goes to public school because she told us she wants to homeschool next year. So we'll try to get through this year hopefully without any issues from them. 

I personally couldn't tell you which situation was worse. Both situations with both in laws sucked. I'm glad I came out strong in both situations and that I finally opened up my eyes to the facts that some people never change and that not everything needs a reaction. I know a lot of you are going to say that I should't have messaged him when he was lying about my daughter but I will always defend my daughter, whatever people say about me is fine but I don't joke around when it comes to her and they knew that so they used my daughter as bait to get to me. And I know some people are going to have mixed opinions about this blog and that's okay. I just want to share my experiences and help out anyone that might be dealing with something similar. Truthfully who needs enemies when you have toxic in laws. I also want to point out that I'm not 100% a victim either and I said or did some things that are probably petty and trust me I know. I was just so angry and tired of being mistreated. But that's it until the next one, I'm not sure what that one will be about yet.

Thank you to whoever decided to read this to the end.💕

Questions? Shoot me a message or comment on this blog. 😀