Ughhh ignore this.

I was struggling so badly a year ago I won't go into detail I just can't. I felt so pathetic like no matter how hard I tried I couldn't pull myself out of it. I wanted change but couldn't actually change anything. Then due to personal stuff I started going to therapy and in the end got put on meds and honestly I was ok with it and still am! I was proud of myself for taking a big step I felt like life wasn't screwing me over for once. Recently though I've been feeling this dread it lingers around me so much and it makes me so mad I thought I was other ts. theres like 2 separate sides of me one full of whimsy and happiness that just wants to be loved give my all, and then another who's full of hate, constantly tired and disoriented, so angry to the point she could scream and tear things to shreds. I hate how I feel this way, its like I'm rotting I'm like a husk of who I once was. ughhh Ill prob delete this later I don't want to see this and remind me (ugh this is so cringe)