Ultimate Suffering and Cruelty: Part 666

I genuinely think that I’m addicted to my phone, and  I feel as though it may be one of the most embarrassing addictions for one to succumb to. 

->First of all, to announce my credibility to the very few who will actually read this blog, my average screentime for the past month has fluctuated between 10-13 hours per day.**

Anyways, throughout this summer, whenever I would consider doing something productive during the day (apply to more jobs, go to the gym, etc…) I would get ready to start the task for a few minutes, before immediately scrolling 4 hours of my precious time away. 

Furthermore,,, whenever my mind decides that it has capped out on dopamine for the day, and that I can put down my phone, it is already too late to actually do any of the tasks which I had previously wanted to do.

I feel as though I am at a crossroads, where one path results in the removal of instagram and tiktok from my phone, and the other path leads to my continued downfall.

;-; although one path seems a lot better than the other, I still have yet to actually take it, and doubt that I ever will.

The worst part is that it isn’t even a cool addiction. (/j /j /j [i know addictions are very bad]) If I had an addiction to like cigarettes or something, it would at least result in some people thinking I look cool, or perhaps would attract people to me (not that i’d inherently enjoy that). However, I am instead stuck in my bed all day, watching short-form content that I will not remember the next day.

Anyways… i’ve recently started watching hannibal since it just came to netflix, since i saw some yaoi animations of it a few years ago. It is Really Really good and it has kept my vices at bay for the past few days. hopefully i will be able to replace tiktok and instagram with more meaningful sources of entertainment someday…

also im not the biggest fan of this layout that ive picked but i think ive already written too much, so i will leave it as is and just be upset about it