Um guys

currently dying of embarrassment .mp3

okay so tell me WHY i decided sneaking out tonight was a genius mastermind plan straight out of a low budget disney channel movie 😭

i go outside trying to move this HUGE ladder because it was upside down and making it impossible to use and apparently i sounded like i was reconstructing the entire garage because next thing i know i hear voices behind me

IT WAS MY MOM AND MY SISTER.

my mom goes: “what are you doing?”

and for SOME reason my brain completely blue screened and i looked this woman dead in the eyes while HOLDING A WHOLE 20 FOOT LADDER and said:

“mommy it’s in the way.”

LIKE???? IN THE WAY OF WHAT????? gravity???? society???? the american dream???? 😭

then she goes “did you lock yourself out?”

and suddenly the little criminal hamster in my brain started running on the wheel at max speed.

“yeah i did”

WITH THE STRAIGHTEST FACE EVER TOO. like i deserved an oscar for that performance.

AND THEN THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY HELD THE LADDER FOR ME.

so now i’m climbing through my own window while my mom steadies the evidence like she’s part of the mission impossible team 💀

i crawl into my room fighting for my life trying not to laugh and then i realize MY DOOR IS ALREADY WIDE OPEN

so i had to do the fastest recovery ever. i closed the door, waited like two seconds, then opened it again like “wow thanks mom i’m safely back inside after accidentally locking myself out haha 😀”

SOMEHOW IT WORKED???

i got away completely free.

this is either proof i’m secretly a criminal mastermind or proof my mom was too tired to question anything because there is NO reason that should’ve worked 😭