unexplained feeling that i hope they'll understand

lately, ive been feeling a lot of things that i dont really know how to explain. sometimes i wonder if friendships are really worth it, not because i dont love my friends, but because im scared of losing them someday. people always say that friends come and go, and i understand that life changes and people grow apart, but then i see people who have stayed friends for so many years, and it makes me wonder if that could happen to us too. what if someday we all get busy with our own lives and slowly stop talking like we used to? maybe we wont completely forget each other, but what if we become people who only remember the memories we once shared? i know growing up means change, but its still sad to think about losing people who mean so much to me. i really want to keep the people i love in my life for as long as i can. i want my friends to feel loved, appreciated, and understood. i want them to know that they matter and that they will always have someone who believes in them, especially during the times when they struggle to believe in themselves. i want to be someone they can feel safe with, someone who reminds them that they are worth something even when life makes them feel otherwise. maybe thats why i care so much about the people i love, because i never want them to feel alone or think that they have nobody. and when it comes to my boyfriend, i think my feelings go even deeper. sometimes, i dont just see him as my boyfriend. i see him as someone i want to spend my future with, someone i want to grow with, and someone i hope i can call my husband someday. i know were still young, and theres still so much ahead of us, but i cant help imagining a future where we are still choosing each other even after all the changes life brings. i wish i could love him without constantly being scared that one day, things might change, that we might lose our feelings, or that we might end up becoming strangers after being such a big part of each others lives. i know nobody can promise exactly what the future will look like, but deep inside, i really hope hes the person i get to keep. i want him to be more than just someone i love right now. i want him to be someone i can come home to after a tiring day, someone i can share my little stories with, someone i can grow older with, and someone who will still know me even after ive changed so much as a person. i want to experience life with him, through the good days and the difficult ones. i want us to keep learning about each other and choosing to understand each other, even when things arent always easy. i know love isnt always going to feel perfect, but i hope we can build something strong enough to get through the difficult times together. sometimes i think about how much i love the people in my life, and i realize that im scared of losing them because they genuinely mean so much to me. i know i cant control time, change, or the future, and i know that everyone has their own life to live. but a part of me still hopes that even when we grow older and everything becomes different, the people i love will still be there. i hope my friends and i can look back on our memories someday and still feel happy that we found each other. and for my boyfriend, i hope that one day, all the little moments we share now will become memories we can look back on together as we build the future we once dreamed about. i guess i just want the people i love to know that they have made a difference in my life. when i love someone, i genuinely want to see them happy, safe, and loved. i want to give them the same understanding and care that i hope to receive, even if i dont always know how to express it properly. i know i cant make anyone stay forever just because i love them so much, but i still hope that the love we share will be something we continue choosing, even as life changes. and if theres one thing i truly wish for, its that the people who mean the most to me wont become just memories. i hope we get to keep making new ones together.