unsent shit

im going to have to savor these next few months. thats what i would say if i had plans, but really i dont know what im doing lol. im mindless. dont know whats stopping me, but i know its not hope.

my impulsivity is whatll do. itll come around, i know it. it has to. my future lies on that bathroom floor. the tiles will hold me from falling further, and while im posed fetal, itll feel like im back inside my mothers womb. give birth to me again so i can be better, more alive than ever.

tomorrow. maybe next week.i just have to feel sick enough to feel like it and sick enough to prove it. ill show you. ill show you i was never a fucking coward.