Untitled (warning, cringe and fast phased.)

there is this girl 

We will call her Rin

Rin was a girl who loved to save people, yet despite that she ends up hurting herself

She is always there for those around her, despite not having the same kind of love she gives to those alike.

From a very young age, she was a crybaby.

She learnt on her own that being weak herself feels off

So she’d rather live for others, and care for their problems instead of her own 

One boy noticed her, his name was Ford.

Ford noticed how she has been feeling down lately when no one else had thought about it 

He asked, “Hey, you alright”

You know by now, Rin would say; “ah, I’m fine, thanks for asking.”

But Ford did not buy it

Everyday, he decided to ask how was it going, for several tries, Rin says it’s doing well and talks about her savior complex, talking about how a lot of people today said they wanted to end their life, and she stood with that person while they cried blood and sweat. 

He felt utter pain

Not because of sympathy

Not because of empathy

But because

She never thought about herself 

It’s like, her life revolved around people who have their own shit to deal with, and there she was.

Fixing all of it without expecting anything in return, or… Is she?

Rin had a good life, good parents, good family

She had high grades, yet

Still feels like she hasn’t done enough

She’d - herself when alone, hoping that one day she would be seen

But when she is seen, she’d freeze.

She’s so used to seeing others

She can’t see herself

She would of course, brush it off and they of course let it be

But Ford was tired of it

He wanted her to show herself 

It doesn’t matter how loud, he says

As long as she finally lets go.

Ford.

Used to smoke

He would get into fights often

And he’d go motorbiking to forget himself 

But seeing this girl

Made him change

He ditched the ciggarettes

And changed for the better

Rin on the other hand, got worse

She became a delinquent 

She rebelled 

She got into fights more often 

And she stopped caring

It’s like 

A change?

Or a swap?

Ford noticed this immediately, and confronted her about it

“Oh ford, I'm no longer the Rin you used to FUCKING KNOW”

Despite the odds, ford knew how to fight back but didn’t push so hard since he was afraid of hurting her

Then one day, she had enough of it.

if she could make him hate her, that’s enough of her story.

Rin hated cigarettes

Yet, 

Is taking them now

She holds it in between her index and middle finger, slowly staring away at the city lights.

Ford catched up

“Rin..Bitte..’

“Why do you care?’

“Because.”

“Ich liebe dich”

“It does not matter, if you’re fucked up or not, all I want, is you.”

“Why do you want a broken wreck like me?”

“I’m too broken to be fixed.”

“Be broken then, It’s better than faking everything.”

Rin then looked over to ford, then said

“Ford, I can’t do this shit anymore. I’ve given up. Completely.”

“What is more to receive? I’ve done nothing, but gather in fights, in problems and it always comes with a price.”

“It doesn’t have to be goodness. Theres still time.”

“To heal.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Then, it doesn’t matter.”

“Just. Breathe. In, and out.”

Rin takes a deep breathe.

Then exhales.

She took one more drag of cigarette, then smiled at Ford for the first time in awhile.

“Ich liebe dich”

Then, she falls off.

Ford went silent.

Then, joined in.

The sky hues, dripped in that dark blue. Everything felt a pause. Seeing everything happen all at once. Never seeing  it again. he caught up to Rin falling, then pulled her close.

“Ich bin hier,mein schatz.”