Update Blog (its been a min LOL)

(cw for sh recovery talk in blog, no triggering details though)

Its Been 2 Long omggg

Gotta love depression !!
Its literally been like forever since I've been actually active on here :[
So, this'll be like a whole update of like everything since my last blog about meeee (I think that was the beach trip?)

I got snakebites finallyyyy

And holy shit it hurt wayyyy more than I though it would, I forget that they are literally piercing through a muscle and not just skin XP
My piercer def did nottt give me a long enough bar, my lip was trying to swell over it, theres literally an indent
NOT going back to her, I think I'd rather just do my next one in the bathroom with my friends after this LOL
I cannot WAIT to change them out for rings! I already love the regular piercing jewelry they gave me, but rings are what i wantt and ik its going to look so cool omfg

Meds

I finally got some meds to help out with my anxiety!
I was trying to find something that could work for both my anxiety AND depression, but the one I'm on now only is helping anxiety. I"m going to see a different doc about that med soon lol
I know my medication works well bc when I forget to take it its like the world is caving in omgg
Depression and other mental health issues are genetic in my family, thats why I'm focused on medication atm instead of therapy
(this is where the cw is, skip to College if u dont want 2 read!)
I decided to seek out meds bc of how bad I was getting, I literally failed a class and never took care of myself, and unfortunately found self harm as a way to process everything. Now that I'm trying to get help, I'm four months clean on self harm. But I know I still need the meds & help bc I haven't really gone a day without thinking of it.
I've been like this since I was a kid, but the self harm was new and thats when I really knew I needed the help
I'm happy to be clean though! My boyfriend has been such a big help with it, I have no idea where I'd be without him honestly

College

I start my classes again (junior year college) in about a week, im excited but so so nervous too
I failed a class last quarter because of a really bad depressive episode, and I'm worried about it happening again bc like if I fail another class we literally can't pay for it and I'll have to drop out :[
I'm really determined to not fail this year. I'll be living with my super super supportive friends and i'm on new meds so I think this year will go better! I'm getting an amazing start instead of roommates who always fight and lowkey are instigators to bad habits
I move back into my dorm in 2 daysss! I'm legit so excited to live with my friends this year, last two years of living with random people was crazy at kinda awful quite a lot of times omg

Apartment

I've saved up a ton of money and havent really spent it! I hope to move out almost fully by summer next year, I want to live in my college's city for now. I love my family and dont want to spend the money to move out, but atp I really need to, for my mental health and just me as a person omggThey are driving me crazyyyy and I feel so isolated in the woods back home :[The main thing I have to figure out is roommates (bc I cant pay for the whole place omg) and a job in my college's town since I'm leaving mine at home
I might try and do art commissions, get in some extra money on the side type of thing
(or get a sugarmommy/daddy +3+)

Getting an apartment would mean I can still see my boyfriend more often instead of making him call me every week lol

I'll try to be active here more and actually talk with everyone once I move into my dorm fully. I really miss it on this site!! And when my lip isnt swollen from the piercings I'll take more photosss
I may post a video idk yet

New music blog coming out soon! I have a lot of people I need to listen to on this website lolol

Luv,
PeyPeyPoser <333