Update on that girl + Deodorant towels

I sent her the poem I made for her, she told me it was beautiful and she loved me, I'm really happy now. I feel a bit bad because I had forgotten her name, but I JUST remembered it, her name was Vera, but she gets called Mira now. I really can't thank her enough for coming into my life, and I really want to send her a paragraph, but I don't wanna seem clingy or a pushover.

At least I'm not filled with a hollow stomach every night anymore, she's there for me whenever I need her, it's comforting; finally finding that person where you know they're genuinely here for you and care about you. Whenever someone tells me they're here for me, I don't believe them and keep to myself. But with her, I believe her, and I can run to her anytime. I'm sad I don't have a phone, so I can't call her on Discord or anything, I wish to hear her precious voice and play games with her, just for one night. I'm not sure if this is a blog, I'm starting to use this as my digital diary, haha. I have a physical one, but I write more personal crap, this is just for stuff not too personal, also for my poems, and my interests.

Honestly, it feels weird to be happy. I'm used to being miserable, but with her, something in my heart blooms, she is like an angel to me. She's a bit older than me, but I've noticed that I click with older people rather than people my own age, I only have 1 close friend who's just one year older than me. 

No, this is not me after inhaling deodorant, I tried and it didn't do much other than make me sneeze, I might have to do more to be honest. Seriously, with her, I don't have that feeling of wanting to kill myself. I don't want to leave her alone again. Seeing her come online ignites a firework in my stomach, I light up.