Vent 1:tw for suicidal thoughts and cutting

/gen like deadass today has been just so fucking awful.

I didn't take my meds today on accident since I was down at my grandparents and my mom decided to wake me up at the ass-crack of dawn and I couldnt fall asleep till 11 last night so I was dead tired. 

I didn't have enough time to take my meds since mom wanted me to pack up and go ASAP so I was like "oh ill take them when I get home!" Got home and slept for like 3 hours, got up to go get water for my meds and fought with my mom and that made me go back to bed since I didn't wanna deal with her BS and then I had a nightmare about mom having the guy who sexually assulted me living with us for like years without telling me and her and him were dating? I was like "wtf mom" and she said "if you dont like it, leave" and then I was like "Where tf am i suppoused to go?" and then i woke up crying

By that point it was 6ish and too late to take my meds so yah I didn't take them today and all I can think about is wanting to kms or cut so we'll see which happens

(Knowing my lame ass it's gonna be neither since I'll just cry like the little bitch I am and go to bed right after.)