Vent ?

First Part - Focusing

Lately I've been thinking about everything but myself. I get so lost in my thoughts, especially music. I'll put on a jam and then immediately ignore everyone. It's getting hard to focus on what's in front of me anymore. 

I'm slowly losing myself to a lot of worldly things, and I find myself losing hope in the faith that I have. 

Following God has taught me to toughen up, to endure, and expect what's to come. It's worked for me so much, and I don't feel as disappointed and sad when something bad happens, because I expect it. I get tired of being so disappointed, though, and not everything will always go according to plan, and that's okay. I just want one day where everything is perfect.

Second Part - overly sensitive

I might be overly sensitive from bottling my feelings up, from isolating myself when I feel like a burden. I cry over every little thing, and (warning for the guys) my menstrual cycle is actually killing me and driving me into this dark place of just not wanting to be a girl. 

I am so done with arguing because all it will lead to is someone asking me, "What are you even crying for?" Like, maybe I'm just overwhelmed by the fact that I'm not making any sense to you. You don't understand me. I cry when I'm angry at people, and I always find myself in a room alone, just begging God to take all the stress away and help me make it right. Lead me down a path that promises peace and tranquility. I am SO glad that God takes care of me, though.

Anyway, I just hope someone finds this and feels as if they can relate to me. It feels like I'm the only one who feels this way all the time. Not being able to make sense to people ruins me. I do apologise for the errors in my blogs also. I'm trying my best to learn more so I can add to my vocabulary.