Vent

I realize the internet is like a sea of people. Most of the guys here won't really care about what I have to say. So I can shout into the void.

I hate high school. Sure, I've had my fair share of good, memorable moments, but I've also had moments when I cried, was excluded, and was talked about behind my back.

I'm neurodivergent... that probably made socialization a ton harder. As of now, I can say I only have one true friend. Even then, having only one person around, not a whole group, can be frustrating sometimes. 

I also did theater, up until this Winter. It sucked. The people in theater always made me feel like some second-hand schmuck. I'm weird, and they let me know.  I've heard them talk behind my back, and my friends have told me they talk behind my back. But when I speak up and talk back, I'm rude?!

I'm so tempted to rejoin at the eleventh hour just to get my graduation cord.

Even the friends I do have make me feel like a background character. I wish I could move away somewhere and find my place — my people. Is that too much? 

Aside from one guy, it's safe to say I haven't had many stable long-term friendships. I feel so terrified because one of the few friends I do have is like basically best friends with someone who hates my guts. 

I wish I were normal. Is it too much to want to be accepted?