vent ig

TW: SH

🩹

ugh im so fucking burnt out all the time idk whats wrong with me i used to be such a happy person but now im tired and tbh idk why. like ig yea everything sucks rn but tbh everything has always sucked and i was still always happy 

ion even have motivation to shower this yr ik its disgusting but i havent showered in weeks i cant bring myself to do it

i keep cutting too ik its bad and wtv but i love the feeling of the blood running down my arm, and its also a nice punishment to keep myself in line ^^

also

my friends idk whats up w them im slowly starting to feel like they all hate me.. theres one person online whos ncie and all but every time i try to talk to her she kinda switches the topic to her, im not not not saying shes being attention seeking or anything it jst feels like were always talking abt her and her issues and she never rly cares abt mine..? but she cares abt me i jst 

idk

idk

the worlds been loud lately and my heads been hurting so so goddamn much home's a wreck everythings jst screaming and bottles breaking and screaming and hitting and fighting and my brother god my brother. i dont even wanna get into that shit rn

and my friends from france keep kts but for some reason i cant fucking follow

and my ex wont leave me alone

and i so tired and i feel so tired and tired isnt ven the right word

aurgoiejkslf i try to keep myself in line thru punishments n shit but i jst get worse idk why it sucks and i dont eat but i still am fat and i wish i could eat again and i wish i was eight again no like six actually eight sucked. and i wish i was w enora and mum and dad and aguhegewhtoirjdfkls the only good thing thats happened in months is finding the online place.

aue0rgiojaerigojjfuheit[ori;j

genuinely never been more burnt out in my life.

xx moon <3