Vent sorta

Ive lost a lot in my life like friends family pets but nothing has really hit me as hard as my baby who didn't even get the chance to be born I know I dont really have the right to mourn since they were never born and because my girlfriend at the time miscarried and she's already over it has been for a while but just every time I see a baby I think of the one I couldn't have and I miss them idek why I mean they were never born I don't know how I can miss them so much but I do more than anything else in my life it's there's this hole in my chest and it never goes away I can't even hope to have another because that was my one in a million chance because of my infertility issues I genuinely miss them so much