[VENT/RANT] media limitations, fomo, and anxiety

ok so i know this isn't the sort of thing i usually blog about. truth be told, i really don't even WANT to blog about this, but...as are the nature of vent sessions, i HAVE to release these emotions

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i have anxiety, which is pretty severe. i'm prone to physical reactions such as dizziness, shaking, chest pain, and sweating. this is usually invoked when i see something, real or not, that upsets me and makes my brain think i'm in danger. but HERE is the really bad part: often, my brain will do this at FICTIONAL MEDIA, in which nothing on the screen can ACTUALLY harm me. i just wish it would leave me alone!!!! it also means that there is a LOTTTTT of video games, cartoons, etc. that i cannot safely watch. idk why! take deltarune for instance. due to a lot of dark themes in the game, it's best for me not to play it...AND YET I FEEL LIKE THE ONLY TRANS/NON-BINARY PERSON IN EXISTENCE THAT DOES NOT PLAY IT!!!!!

i can't find anyone else i know that has the same problem as me, and i feel like my anxiety (or maybe even my self-appointed stigma about it) is holding me back from enjoying more things and i hate it. i really do!! i'm missing out on SO MUCH!! i need to expand my comfort zone SOMEHOW right??

i just need to find someone else who goes through the same. i really hope i'm not going insane here. vent over...