watch me slowly go insane 🥰

I js missed my bus. My fucking bus. My dad always drops me off at the bus station every morning, and the bus goes at 6:18 am which means i have to be sitting in the car at 6:10. well i wasnt today cuz i was hysterically looking for my beloved chapstick. (I didnt find it anyway i js totally wasted my time) yea by the time we arrived at the bus stop, the bus was obv gone and my dad now has to drive me all the way to school. Hes fuming mad. Its fine tho, it was totally my fault once again. I HATE being such a burden. I js cant do anything right in this life 🫩 i failed my last italian test, i keep loosing my stuff (my chapstick ahem ahem) plus forgetting stuff. Im so forgetful its not even funny anymore. and im js a numb little clump of cells that only feeds on chewing gum and chocolate bars. im sry im sry im sry for being this way. I feel so out of place, i dont belong here. My thoughts are screaming non stop and all i want is some peace and quiet for ONCE. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. I dont want to die tho, ive thought about suicide alot but its not the correct option for me. I quite enjoy being alive. i js wanna have a cozy, peaceful life far far away from school and my parents. I feel bad for my parents. They put so much money and time and effort into raising me and i turn out like THIS. One of my biggest flaws is prob that i dont know how to express gratefulness. There is something wrong with me, i wish to know what. Maybe some form of ADHD or autism or something else man idk.I dont even know how to feel anymore.Maybe God was js incredibly drunk while crafting my personality