Waxing and Waning in Size

It seems everything just keeps on waxing and waning. 

Everything changes, besides the fact that nothing will stay the same. 

I didn't know I could write small.

I can also write huge!!!

Sometimes I wish I could shrink and enlarge depending on how much I want to exist on the day to day. Sometimes I want to disappear and be the size of an ant so I can hide in a little box, and no one can bug me. Get it? Bug? Cause I'd be the size of a bug. 

And sometimes I feel much braver and can face the world, and it's okay to be as large as a person, because I'm okay with being a person. 

I feel pretty normal as of now. I feel better than I did last week, but worse than I did the week before. The October Canon Event hit last week, and I've been recovering ever since. 

I miss my friends though. I like friends. I don't really like my one friend. She's really mean and I don't like that. I cannot escape her though; she is far too engrained in my life. Maybe it'd be okay if we weren't friends. She makes me want to hide and be really small. 

My boyfriend makes me want to be really small too but not in the same way. I just feel guilty to be with him. He's too sweet and pure and precious and I'm not like him. I'm scared if I'm normal sized, I will hurt him. I can't be gentle enough for him at regular person size. I can't hurt him if I'm the size of a bug. 

Sometimes I need to be person sized though. I can't really see the smaller font without my glasses, so.