"Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it."
-Black Box Recorder
WARNING: I'm going to sound really annoying when i say this-- I go to a school for rich kids.
Ew ew ew, even i got the ick reading that. Anyway, I've lived here all my life and because it's a "rich kid" school, it's got kindergarten, elementary, middle, and high school all in the same school.
I've been at this school for 10 years, which means i've had the same people in my grade for 10 years (obviously people come and go but pretty much the same group of people yeah).
This means I have not had a do-over for TEN YEARS, which i suppose isn't that bad, but it does mean that my third grade friend group will be my friend group pretty much forever. it also means everyone in my grade level has seen me through my awkward phase, which was comically bad.
like most schools, everyone has a clique. there's the populars, weird kids, art kids, smart kids, and drama kids... what the fuck is this? some kind of high school film???
I don't know what clique i'm in, because i only have three school friends. i like them enough. i think they are nice (ish). they like me, i like them. whatever. it works out.
[there's a lot i could get into when explaining my school friends, a lot of drama and lore but i'll save that for some other time cause i'm lazy af lol]
everyone pisses me off so fucking bad???!? i think I'M the problem.
i just feel like such an outsider. not in the sense that i'm bullied and that shit but just that i have no social skills and everyone pisses me off and that i can't make any new friends. let alone date anyone.
everyone i know seems to be so much better at it. when i check some 'popular' girl's spam instagram (none of those words in the bible btw, kms), everyone except for me had been accepted?!?!
Like AM I THAT BAD?! i bet you if i played volleyball or really just had any athletic bone in my body people would give a slight shit about me but sadly i can't run a lap without wanting to kill myself.
i'm saying this but my equally un-athletic friend has been invited to some big blowout halloween party so nevermind.
what am i missing?? is it boobs? i don't have those. is it athletic ability? is it that i need to start bringing needohs to school and trading them with the boys?
i thought for the longest time it was because last year i had an emo phase (a lot of black eyeliner, studded belts, and pretty good outfits actually imo). i stopped dressing that way and i'm now wearing fuckass hollister and brandy melville to school with my hailey bieber ass looking makeup. i'm going insane telling myself that it's actually '2000s pretty little liars coded' and not just 'boring bitch'
i thought that would fix it but NOOOO..
some girl just got to school this year, and she's emo! like me last year emo!! everyone ate it up! told her that her eyeliner was soooo cool. the boys called her "goth mommy" and shit like that.
what about me makes me so incapable of being considered sociable? or cool? or 'chill' as a 15 year old boy would say.
I don't know what it is. everyone pisses me off, and i tell myself that it's because they are all petty and annoying and popular but it's really just because they don't care about me. because i'll never be normal or capable of shedding how "weird" i am.
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kiki☆
I get what you mean oh my gooood
It's the same for me honestly. I've never really had actual friends but I've had a few from like elementary school I knew and hung around. Since two years or so I only have two friends really, I absolutely adore them they're great but since then I've also noticed how unpopular we are. Like we never get invited to anything, don't know what's going on, basically what you described.
I used to be kind of jealous, like I didn't want to loose all my personality to be more popular but I just wanted to be liked.. But then, in a new class, we sat close to a group of popular girls and all they do is talk shit about everybody else, and if one of them isn't there that day they talk about that person as well. They're all fake and don't have any real friends.
So since then I don't care anymore what they think or if they like me. School is temporary, being popular in school is temporary, it doesn't matter.
I bet it'd be lovely to be your friend, they just don't deserve you. You don't need to change, they're just boring.
Yes!! I feel you a lot on this 🥲 a lot of the time I have to remind myself that a lot of popular people are truly just not nice people. Also, ur right, a lot of the time they are pretty, well yeah, boring. That's part of my problem in a way.. I know deep down I am less boring and that I am "better" than them in terms of individuality but it hurts me most that other people can't see it 🙃 ur right tho, school is temporary. Soon enough we'll never need to think about popular people again <33
by angelkvssed; ; Report
𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐢 𝄞t⨾𓍢ִ໋🕯️
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Sameee im at a new school and i have exactly 2 friends i interact with everyday cuz im too scared to talk to others and i dont want them to think im wierd. Im not popular at ALL i just..exist ig. Most of my classmates dont even know my name- i hate being so awkward. If a popular girl does smth embarrassing, its all funny n stuff but if I do something SLIGHTLY embarrassing i get stared at like im a phsyco. I dont want to be popular, i js want ppl to like me and ACC KNOW MY NAME- you sound like such a cool person tho, i feel like we have a bunch of stuff in common and lowk calms me down knowing im not the only struggling. I hope it gets better for uu!
i feel you on this one so hard omg. popular people get sooo appreciated for stuff most people would be absoultely flamed for doing lmao
we have so much in common it seems like!!!!! ur so so cool as well. we in this together <3333
by angelkvssed; ; Report
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This is hashtag relatable, all I can say is that those people make you sick. if you like being around your friends thats good. remember in 5 years you‘re not going to give a shit about any of those people, in school people will always pick on other people and there doesnt have to be any reason for that, its just how these bullies work. its not your fault. The people in your school dont define you, theres so much more in this beautiful world and once you leave that school things will get better
YES!!! that's what i tell myself every minute lol. that i'm going to be long gone from here and i'll never have to think about any of these ppl ever again <333
by angelkvssed; ; Report