what have i landed myself into

there is nowhere to begin because it has always been this complicated

since my very inception

this year i have escaped the long exhaustive era that is teenage life...

funnily i have only catapulted myself deep into adulthood... almost immediately 

ironic

fighting for a stability i never got the pleasure of having

becoming a provider when i am still a mystery to myself, now i have no time to find it

brazing through unfortunate circumstances as if it's just another day

another day a slave of my own life

i long to escape this place and the horrible baggage that has weighed over me for two decades

I'm late on rent, again...

i shouldn't be doing this. I'm still just a kid. but i don't know how to break down what i have built

i feel like a father without a lover

a child without a family

i am spiritually alone in this, and it pains me dearly

i pray that one day i awaken in a new existence

because after everything i truly do not hope to die

i just want the life robbed from me

the life little me never got to know

so please, for his sake, truly let this be the wake of a dream.