Where's my dignity? Greatest Love of All

Continuing my sad little story: I met DLV along with some other people. For a while, we were part of a really fun group, but I was always closer to DLV or rather, Ezequias... I used to call him "Eze" WHICH IS WHAT I USE TO HAUNT THAT FUCKER.

He has a YouTube and Steam channel called DLVYT; he streams using a PNG OC which, to make matters worse, was usually created by AI or by an artist friend of his. I was that friend back then; I did everything for him and supported him in literally everything. His profile used to feature my signature and my OC entirely, but nowadays he’s changed it all obviously.

We were inseparable, but that gave no one reason to think I harbored a romantic interest in him there was a significant age gap between us, and the way I saw him was pure; I loved him just as I loved my uncle... simply as my best friend. And perhaps it was that innocent way of looking at life that destroyed me.

I tend to think that he was my best friend, but that I wasn't his.

I became just as dependent on him as I had been on André my fault, I know but that doesn't justify how much he let me down.

He knows everything about me—even my worst secrets and the fact that I self-harm. And do you know what he did when I fell into a depression? When I isolated myself from everyone and everything so I wouldn't dump my problems on anyone else? Do you know what he said when I had a gun pointed at my head? He decided that, since I was isolating myself and hadn't spoken to him in days, it would be a good idea to tell all my secrets to my boyfriend and our friends—and then he picked a fight with me because I hadn't answered him... He ruined my life in a matter of minutes, right before I could pull the trigger.

But I have to be grateful, because that made me give up on killing myself so I could stay busy CURSING HIM OUT, while he cursed at me AS IF THE FUCKING FAULT WAS MINE.

WHY THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!???

WHAT KIND OF WISE ADULT IS THAT FUCKER!!!!!!!????

It’s such a stupid reason, such a stupid story, but for someone who was in a bad place mentally AND HE KNEW IT! that was enough for me to be the biggest asshole to him over the next few months.

Stay tuned, because the next blog post is going to be about the hell I’ve put him through—and continue to put him through—in his life, lol. XD