why do you crave company

(Spacehey Repost)

i think man's greatest disgrace is the fact that it is a social animal. i don't want to feel the need of having company, but that's what i've been searching for ever since i was little, just as much as everyone i think. 

one time i got up from bed when i was 7, i went on a little blackboard on my wall and drew my friends. then i cried because i missed them. i'd also play alone in different offline games typing in chat as if someone could read what i was saying or speak to youtube videos making myself believe i was with those people playing gmod prop hunt. and it was fun. really fun. i would laugh and laugh. and then i'd stop and think about how i'm not actually playing with anyone. 

this is a nice memory i have

my mom bought me a wii u with minecraft, i played it everyday. when they added multiplayer hunger games i remember the first time i joined and heard people's voices. they were speaking, and if i made a sound they could hear it. i could move in the game and they would have that displayed on their screens. i could hear their controllers click in real time and the echo of my voice through their mics. i cannot express the level of joy i felt in that moment, i was euphoric.

i made my first friend there, a boy from pennsylvania just around two or three years older than me. we played together so much, building big houses and cities and even playing with his schoolmates. i would wake up in the morning during summer and stare at my friend's list waiting for his name to turn light blue with the word ''online'' next to it, constantly asking my mom what time it was in the US so i could expect if he got up any time soon. i sometimes relisten to the wii u's friend's list music just to make special things happen to my heart.

wether it is making new friends or finindg a new lover, there's always a thrill in having contact with someone that we consider to be like ourselves, that likes to do what we do and that shares common interests.

unfortunately, friendships many times don't work out. you lose friends, get new ones, lose them again, see who's still remaining out of the old ones, see how they change for the better, for the worst, see how many of them start acting different, start talking differently, start losing interest in something you shared, see how people talk about you outside of the context of your groupchats and weekly hangouts...
but no matter how heartbroken someone could get, i don't think us humans could ever stop being the very thing we are: a social animal. one that has different moods with different people, one that secretly admires from afar hoping to one day become even just acquaintances with that someone, one that wants to talk about theirselves and, hopefully, wants to listen to others too.

that's why we're all here after all. even though this is supposed to be like the niche and outcast version of social media, throwing away all algorithms and much of the accesibility that is now available in modern apps, we're all here for the same reason: recognition and contact. that's what the vast majority of us live for.

so, man's greatest disgrace might be the fact that it is a social animal, but maybe it's also what makes it special and unique and capable of such love. 

i was gonna make a bigger blog abt this topic but i don't know where to begin and get way too overwhelmed. anyways, what was your method of getting out of some of the most lonely times? did it work? why are you on spacehey (friendrewind in this case)?

ciao

 Art by ICHGO CHA~N