WHY DOES THINGS END? WHY DO U HAVE MOST FUN AT THE END?

God, this season is so depressing, and idek if it's the weather, the people, the circumstances, or the fact that your head has decided to make everything ten times more melancholic than it alr is

 so the situation is : I have these classes that are gonna end around Nov10, and there's this friend of mine who I've grown pretty close to. We became friends this year, or you could say, like, just three months back, which is probably what makes it worse cuz now they told me they won't be coming anymore. Like, we barely got here, and now we are already approaching the end of sum. I have two other friends too, but they're in different cities for their own reasons rn. Idk when they will come back. So for a while, I'll be attending classes alone. I do have people to talk. So there's a difference, right? But why does it feel so sad? It's such a strange thing, isn't it?

 You meet people, you get comfortable with them, you start looking forward to seeing them, and before you even realize it, they've become part of your routine, and then one day you realize that the routine is about to disappear. 

And why do we always realize these things at the end? Why do you suddenly appreciate the little moments when, you know, there aren't many of them left? Why do ordinary days become precious memories only when they're about to become memories?

Maybe I am being dramatic, or is this what growing up feels like? But I'm genuinely not built for this whole thing where people come into your life, become important to you, and then slowly become people you have to make plans to see. Like, what do you mean we might not hang out anymore? What do you mean everyone's gonna be somewhere else? And the worst thing is nobody has to do anything wrong for things to change. life just happens, and suddenly the people who were right there beside you are living entirely different lives. Ig I'm just grateful I got to know them in the first place. Still tho, this is so unfair. 

 And speaking of things falling apart, let's talk about my academic life, which is currently a separate natural disaster. I wanna score 95+% in my finals, and sometimes I genuinely wonder what I'm supposed to do to get there: delete social media, delete every app on my phone, hand my phone to my mom and ask her to return it after my exams. That would be so petrifying. But then social media isn't even the only thing, only problem. Sometimes you put your phone away & sit down to study & open your book and  you decide that now is the perfect time to contemplate the meaning of existence. Like, bra, you have three chapters to finish, but at least you're thinking about the inevitable passage of time. idk which exams I'm supposed to prioritize sometimes, and I'm tryna figure out how to get my life together while simultaneously watching it happen in real time. But wtv, we'll figure it out, or we won't. Or we will have a breakdown, be an ass, listen to musicband try again tmr. Very academic weapon of me. Anyways, it's funny how quickly my mood changes. I'll be sitting here thinking about how everything is ending, how nothing will be the same in a few months, how everyone is gonna move on with their lives, and few sec later prolly be laughing at the stupidest meme. Maybe that's the thing lol. You can be genuinely sad about something and still find something funny five minutes later. You can miss people who are still very much alive and well. can be grateful for a moment and still wish it would last a little longer. I'm just thankful (i suppose?), for the friends I have made, for the people we have spent together, for the ordinary days I didn't realize I would miss. 6 months from now, I'll look back at this version of my life and feel nostalgic about things I'm not even aware I'm experiencing rn. (This literally happened two years back) Anyway, I wish this place had a story button so I could post random bullshit, whatever I wanted, instead of writing entire essays about my feelings.