why is it so hard to just live?

im not behind on school work but im not done with it either and its too much at once. i have to finish a presentation and i have to write and submit an essay on a book with only two days to spare. on top of that im upset because i feel like im getting played by my friend that im starting to like. long story long he asked me to hoco and at hoco he was so sweet and affectionate towards me like he liked me or something. im not used to any of that so ofc i got swayed easily and now i kind of have a crush on him but after the weekend of hoco it seems like hes avoiding me. out of this whole day hes only talked to me once and it was just to see what i got on my midterm. ive been watching the videos back and it makes no sense how could he look at me like that, hold me like that, and speak to me like that if he was just going to avoid me afterwards? im mostly confused because he usually doesnt like taking pictures under any circumstances and he let me take a picture of us for my mom, but even after the intial pictures he went out of his way to ask my friends to take pictures of us. he even let me take pictures and record him being silly. also when we were taking one of the photos he asked for my best friend put his hand around my waist and in all of the pictures he was smiling. right after the pictures my friend was recording us and i was being silly and awkwardly dancing to the music and the entire time he was looking at me while smiling and started dancing with me when hes usually awkward. whos putting this spell on me where all these boys play with my fragile heart :sadface: