Have you ever noticed that people make less and less effort to get to know each other over the years?
Imagine you go out with a few friends, and one of them brings a few people you don't know. The polite move is for your friend, the "link" between friend groups, to introduce everyone. Then everyone should attempt to make some small talk to break the ice, maybe get a few drinks in, some games, some dancing, whatever.
Lately though, compared to maybe 3-4 years ago, I've noticed that people just nod politely at each other, maybe say something shallow just to say they've participated in conversations, and stick to their own group of people they already know, or even stick to their phones a lot.
Of course, sometimes we're exhausted and socially drained, but that's different. That's totally normal and not what I'm discussing here.
To be clear, this isn't about shyness. Shy people often want to connect, but struggle to do so.
I think that people who do not make any effort in getting to know the rest of the group are intentional in their actions, they just don't care to make human connections. They retreat to the friends they know and never include the others, never make an attempt to do so, and only talk about their "adventures" and never ask about anyone else's experiences.
By doing that, by staying on their phones and in their comfort zone, they are most likely missing out on a great time, missing out on new friends, new connections and new perspectives in life. Even if they end up not liking the socialization, they've discovered new things about themselves, their taste in people, their boundaries, and so on.
I've done this too. Just a few weeks ago, I didn't make that much effort to get to know other people at a hangout, and I felt terrible afterwards, I probably missed out on making some great friends that night. Swore I'd never do this again.
With the popularization of social media, with the rise of AI and after the pandemic I think we all benefit from stepping out of our comfort zone every once in a while, and make human connections.
We're each other's biggest allies, and we're getting too comfortable being lonely.
That's my two cents for today!
- Rita <3
Comments
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Jamz💋
I really don't like cliquey people/groups😭. I grew up isolated, so now I make it a point to reach out and make sure people aren't alone. Especially in group settings.
X
I created the solution to this. YOU basically throw a party, and you don't allow anyone to bring a phone. That's like the party theme rule, it's a retro party. 🥳 You have your friend's invite their friends and set basic ground rules. Also if you have trashy friends or friends with trashy friends make sure you keep anything you don't want stolen like video games, or valuables locked away/hidden. 🥳
Anyways, it actually works and everyone is always sooooo glad they didn't have their phone afterwards. You have to get them to get out of their "BUT WHAT IF MY MOM SUDDENLY STARTS TO DIE RIGHT NOW." mentality. Humans throughout all of history didn't have phones, that includes when anyone went to parties.
Totally, that's such a great idea! Definitely will do it soon, thank you for your input!
by rita; ; Report
8iridescent8
you are right, im one of people that stopped connecting with new people in real life because they are mean. I tried and i get either ignored or bullied plus my town is small so everyone knows each other making it worse. I wish people werent so judgy nowdays aswell so they can connect with new people
Don't stop putting yourself out there! You will find your people eventually, I'm sure. Just remember that mean people only reflect themselves, not you! You deserve respect and joy!
by rita; ; Report
Thank you! I found my old friend and reconnected then i will try with her looking for more friends
by 8iridescent8; ; Report
pondjoose
love this post! i fully agree and find myself trying to connect in the same way that my parents did with neighbors, friends, mutuals, etc. i think there is so much freedom and joy in creating community. not to say that everyone should have access to our lives, but connection is so important for people and i hope we get back to it.
Exactly! You get it! Not everyone should know everything about us and we're not supposed to be available at all times, however having a community is so important! I think it's one of the blueprints for a good quality of life.
by rita; ; Report
Yesss you get it!!!
by pondjoose; ; Report
Hanko ☆
Yea I been noticing that to its become hard to make friends because everyone's so glued to there comfort zone..! ☹
Yep, it can be frustrating, but never stop trying! Eventually, I'd like to think you'll find the right people!
by rita; ; Report
Joker
Because we live in a society batman.
!
by rita; ; Report
by rita; ; Report
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by rita; ; Report