woke up, veil is thin, who's watching me?

it sounds creepy but whenever i wake up at a weird time and its raining, i can feel a past version of myself watching. the versions have distinct feelings that i know them by but this one is new. that's the title.

so i woke up after some silly drunk friend interactions and a weird dream about mean rednecks and illinois. i've never been to illinois. i thought of beach house, germany, how that friend said i was sexy while she was calling me (news to me!), and how nothing and no one lasts forever. in 100 short years me and all my friends will have fully decomposed. how scary yet freeing is that? in 100 years will people still listen to beach house?

my eyes burn and im hungry but all i feel is love. love for my friends and love for beach house and love for music and love for the temporary state of being alive. all i feel is love and i think when kind humans truly love it is more powerful than any god's love. it is concentrated into one person and a few friends like a bullet.