Wow. I SUCK at job hunting.

The grocery store I wanted to work for sent me an email at 12:30 AM-Yes, they waited until past midnight for some reason-to tell me that I was rejected for all four of the positions I was offered. Which basically means, "don't even bother reapplying, there is not one position here you qualify for, good luck somewhere else".

The email said the details were not to be disclosed, but I know full damn well what my fatal mistakes were:

1) Thanks to my fucking job coach sending my application under HER email and not MINE, I was unable to schedule the interview for a week, I was stuck, had to personally go to the local branch's HR department and bother them to have them send me a new link to the interviewing process, where I had to make my own application from the ground up. No doubt looking like an irresponsible asshole.

2) The store's hiring department is only open 9-5. Figuring the call wouldn't be coming that Saturday at 4:30, I decided to enjoy the sunshine and go skateboarding around the neighborhood...guess what happened then. The sound of passing cars was definitely picked up by my phone. Not endearing.

3) I fucked up the phone interview. Just completely fucked it up. Apparently, even grocery stores expect you to have a long-term goal you're looking to get out of the job. I don’t have one. My lifelong dream failed miserably, I'm the last one in my family to complete college and all I'm asking for at this point in my life is anything to make me feel like less of a dead-end loser. So, when he asked me that question, I was in stunned silence before finally sheepishly admitting I don't have a long-term goal. If that wasn't the mistake that put it over, then who knows what it was...

4) ...But it doesn't help that when the phone interview didn't begin on time, I waited six minutes, got confused and wondered if I was supposed to call them. So I called them, connected to the HR lady's voicemail line, and then the phone interview call came. No doubt leaving blank space on the HR lady's voicemail and once again making me look like an irresponsible asshole. Shit, I can already imagine how pissed she was when the guy who did my interview tried to talk to her about me. Now that I think about it, that was more likely to have been what got me declined than not having a long-term goal. Who wants a candidate who can't even conduct themselves professionally during the interview process?

The part that really makes me grimace is I already know my job coach is not going to let me hear the end of this, as this is the second phone interview I completely botched without her supervision and she was against applying for any jobs not listed on Indeed in the first place. In my defense, though, her application for Sam's Club hasn't even netted me a response of any kind. Plus, maybe this interview process wouldn't have been as much of an unprofessional clusterfuck if she'd sent the application under my email instead of hers. I'll never understand why she thought that was a good idea.