Yawnn

It's been a while and things have been a little crazy. Dated someone and he was nice I guess. Drama happened and I was dragged into the whole situation and didn't know what to do. Heaven knows I'm miserable now. Went crazy for a good few weeks due to an incident in a call with him and our friends. Left. Never got the chance to fully handle it. Him and I broke up because we weren't in the right mind. Another incident happened with both of us and we stopped talking. He unfriended me and all of that so we were basically through. I wish I could handle the situations better but I was blinded by love. He drew suggestive drawings of me even though I don't really like being viewed that way but I let it slide because well he was my boyfriend. What a fool I was. He also drew me saying the b slur towards Mexicans. I wish I could call him out for that and said I was uncomfortable being drawn like that. But I was blinded by the love we had. I was the fool on the hill I guess for letting him do that. I couldn't really blame him since you know he hasn't had any good relationships like me. I felt uncomfortable after the first incident and the people of who he was still friends with. I could still remember crying and not thinking straight. Overthinking too much and imaging horrible scenarios. It still aches my heart and I could still feel him. I got rid of the things that reminded me of him. Ive never acted like this. So scared. So terrified. Even when I see that name I panic a bit thinking it's him but it's not. Even when people message me I think its him. I can't really look at purple anymore without being reminded of him. But luckily I'm okay. I do struggle a bit but I'm glad my friend was there to help me. I still sometimes think sad thoughts but I'm trying to heal again. Im trying my best to get rid of the bad habits I have and start a new chapter. I also got into spiritual stuff!! And Buddhism.. I like it and Im learning with how they live and hopefully I'm able to move on.. Still a huge fan of George Harrison though 🩷🩷 I got inspired by him to do stuff i never thought I would do and he helped me through tough times. I know it sounds silly but he did help me and I saw myself in him. I believe people should get second chances and there should be peace for all but for the people that hurt me and left me, they can go ahead and suffer remembering the things that they did to me and I'll make sure they remember me ❤ but yeah. I have a journal but I'm too lazy to write in it.. Gulp...