yes i do but i dont

my friend asked me if i wanted to date anyone recently. tbh idk why she asked that, but i replied with, "yes i do but i don't" cause i feel like i would want to date someone and it would be fun, but then everything they'd do would annoy me because i always seem to find a negative with everyone i've had a crush on. the school i go to is super duper small so i can't really like anyone in my grade cause i've known everyone since middle school or elementary when everyone was stupid and said all these really bad things. yes i still hold grudges idc. and then i don't use snapchat or instagram or whatever cause idk i just don't want to join the crowd of snapchat users. plus my friend showed me her snapchat friends and it was longer than the communist manifesto like this girl was talking to more boys than the population of wyoming. but i feel like i'd want someone to be around a lot, but then again i'd get that from a friend. idk guys someone please tell me they feel this way too 🥹