yo

is it bad to still be really affected by getting sexually harassed at 10 and probably have ptsd from it. the guy’s moved on but idk wtaf happened at home to ask 3 other children for sex and talk about their bodies. I’m remembering it right now, actually. I remember what he said about my friend and me. How dare he talk to us like that? Was he getting raped back at home or something? Was he watching porn at the age of 10? I’m .. deeply uncomfortable. It isn’t that big but I was already getting groomed and verbally/emotionally abuse at home so school was my safe space and he ruined it. Why did he do that? Couldn’t it have been a kid who could handle it better? Why did he befriend us specifically? Is it because we were neurodivergent like him? Vulnerable? Why can men only see females (I say females because even though I was a girl at the time, I’m a boy and don’t want to refer myself as a girl. Not because im a misogynist I love women) as sexual objects? Why has society drilled that thought into their head so much that they see us as sexual objects at 10? What did he fantasise about? With me? I’m going to beat him the fuck up. I’ll kill him forvthinking those things about me. I kthglguttvlsbout that at 10 too il lficjigm doitvhe:’ not getting away with that. he’scdying when. Ig oc back to schoo li fucking swear he’ll die I’m so fuckign mad I don’t care if it was just a mistake he dglylnthvwge fucking targeted me or my friend and he faced NOTHIBG ANDCI HAD TO BE PARAMOID FOR LONTHS. MONTHS. AND I STILL AHVR PRSD FROM IT AND HE’S FACED NOTHING. I’LL BREAK HIS FUCCKING FACECICSWEAR ILL PULL HIS FUCKING TEETH OUT

i do believe in change and forgiveness and I’ve done bad things in the past too, but he’s faced nothing. Some people harm others and then learn and feel that pain and STOP. HE NEVER FELT MY PAIN. WATCH ME FIGHT HIM. i can FEEL HIM but he never TOUCHED ME and no one ever touched me down there but if that never happened then why do I fucking HALLUCINATE IT. EVERYONE WHO’S DONE ME WRONG IS FUCKING DYING. GIVE ME A REASON GIVE ME A REASON GIVE ME A REASON

skrry this is cringe I’m judt. so fucking irritated.